​A New Revenue Stream


           Anybody been following the budget talks in Harrisburg?  I know nobody seems to care anymore. I on the other hand I'm a political junkie.  I use to strive for a life in politics.  But I found that the art of politics is looking busy and getting nothing done.  Think about Harrisburg as a high school classroom.  They know they have work to do, but wait to the last minute to turn it in.  This is a group of people who, like many students, do just enough to pass.  Every couple of years we re-elect the same group that hasn't really accomplished anything.

          Any way I live for this stuff because I don't trust the government. I always worry what they’re up too and what rights they want to take away from us. I was watching some of the budget debate on PNC, the government channel. It seems that our representatives have come up with a new targeted tax that is guaranteed to raise revenue, the Penis Tax.    

            There was much debate as to whether it should be a progressive tax, a flat tax or a user tax.  Most of the debate in regards to a users tax was the possibility of expanding the tax to women, but the female members if the house had no interest in this revenue source, typical. Well, they were more concerned with how it would be used not necessarily the size of the revenue generated. 

            Also some questions were raised about masturbation.  How would that be regulated?  That line of debate was dropped once it was suggested that anything doing with master baiting would have to be referred to the Fish and Game Committee.  There was a fear that the bill would get stuck in committee and nothing would come of it.

            Finally it was decided that a simple flat tax would be the simplest solution to the problem.  The tax would be based on the size of the male's member.  This lead to some concerns from the black caucus that this would be discriminatory.  After some give and take an agreement was reached that penises 7 inches and longer would be taxed $100 per yr.  Peni less than 7 inches would be taxed at a rate of $50 per yr.  It is assumed that all males will pay the $100, giving the Commonwealth of PA a cool half a billion dollars in tax revenue.  Guys will wear their tax receipt like a badge on their clothing or a fishing license on their hats.  "Hey baby, I just paid my penis tax." 

           Of course you can bet that the trail lawyers will be lining up to file the fraud cases that dissatisfied women when their date doesn't measure up.

          There was also talk of an asshole tax, but for some reason the powers that be in Harrisburg weren’t interested.

          Probably afraid it would cut too much into their salaries.