Punctuation. Where did it come from? How did the little do-dads come into being or get their names? Obviously when we talk there are no rules. No one sees if our punctuation is wrong. Come to think of it, do we use punctuation when we speak? Or do we just talk until we need a breath? Another nice thing about talking is no one knows if you are spelling the words wrong.
I digress. In England a sentence ends with a full stop. This makes sense as an entire idea has been written. In the United States we use a period to indicate when a sentence has ended. This, of course, is not to be confused with the woman’s type of period, which we know never ends. Of course, that is also known as the menstrual cycle.
If we were in court one could argue that the terms menstrual cycle and paragraph could be interchangeable. A paragraph is approximately four sentences; the menstrual cycle is approximately four weeks. For example; students your assignment is to write a five menstrual cycle paper on the English Blue Tit.
How did two dots stacked on top of one another become a colon? Have you ever seen a colon? I mean the semi-colon might work, if you imagine the top dot as the stomach and the comma underneath a turd. Perhaps the colon is representative of someone with constipation. After all the colon is a stopping point before a list plopped out.
What about parenthesis? From the root word, “parent.” Obviously, parenthesis, are over protective parents that make sure their kids are included in the sentence action. The everyone gets a trophy mentality has now spilled into writing. What a bunch of crap. It will only be a matter of time until the PC Police will start to enforce quotas on word usage. I dread the day when I’ll be forced to use words like absquatulate, or bichon frise, to fulfill some abstract daily word usage, just to be fair.
I had to absquatulate the yard because the bichon frise was not on a leash and was definitely not in a dwall state. I found the pup was upset because he was monorchid. Sad…
There I did my part for word inclusion.