​Random Things In My Head 2

Karma: First you stuff turkey, then the turkey stuffs you.

There is no honor among thieves, unless of course they belong to the same family.

The next time someone tells you, "Life goes on," ask them what would happen to us if it decided to "Stop on a dime."

Everybody's so worried about being somebody, that they forget to be themselves.

You know things are bad when God taps you on the shoulder and says, "Sorry, I thought you were someone else."

Ever been standing somewhere and wonder why?

So Rudolph was bullied, at least he survived. What about poor Frosty, he died a horrific death. What does that teach r kids? Buy more sunscreen?

I often think about things to think about, and then realize I'm thinking about other things.

I think my inactivity is hurting my attempts to be an activist.

I feel like crap. Although I’m not sure how crap feels, so I guess I feel like crap should feel in our minds, not our hands. Kinda sounds like M&Ms.

I had always doubted my sanity until today, we talked, and now I know the truth.

And then I found it, hidden where I left it. Of course it would be even better if I knew what it was.

I don’t have issues, I have volumes.

I tried to follow Dr. Pepper on twitter, but he didn't accept my insurance. Now I've turned to Mr. Pibb for holistic healing.

I will be performing live all week, otherwise I'll be dead.

Often when faced with two choices, I have chosen neither.

On second thought, I shouldn't have had the first thought.

If I go to an acupuncturist and I feel better after he pricks my ass, that doesn’t mean I gay, does it?

I never found a job I couldn’t lose.