I tried expanding my mind, but found expanding my waistline was easier.
If things are always darkest before the dawn; are they brightest before the dusk?
In the art of self-promotion, I was demoted. :-/
Hey, I lost my shadow puppets! Can anyone shine some light on the situation?
If only some of the people from your past would stay there. What a wonderful this would be!
I don't get it. Why does everyone have a steak in the outcome? Why not a chicken? And when did outcomes start making ovens?
My driveway just told me it's on a low salt diet; looks like things could get slippery around here.
I tried sitting and reflecting over the holidays, then I realized I wasn't a mirror.
There's no time like the present, as you can't change the past.
If I was found guilty of killing time, I wouldn't get any jail time then, right?
I was experimenting with my twitter in Starbucks and some old lady hit me with her cane!
Saw a shirt-How's Second Taste? Which I guess is better than-How's Number 2 Taste?