Sleeper Car


            Life is funny.  Well it has to be, as sometimes it hurts too much to live it.  When looking at life we have two choices; carry on or get carried out.  No matter how bad things get I figure it is always better to carry on.

            I am at a time in my life where I am getting squeezed by so many outside forces that I look and feel like a stress doll.  I'm not complaining, well maybe I am, but the reality is I just laugh about it. I have no money, and by no money, I mean NO money.  The last time I had two pennies to rub together Lincoln was still warm.  I was preparing for bad news from my doctor this week, eating bread sandwiches, scraping gas money together so I can get to work, and preparing to go back to stripping to pay the rent.

            Now lesser souls would throw in the towel, hang their heads and cry.  Not me, that's what “they” want.  I say when life gives you lemons, throw them back at life, and laugh.  I mean who wants that much lemonade?  There is no point getting down, after all, I'm already there, so I just decide to take a look at the absurdity of my life and laugh.  I look at each day as an adventure.

            Example? Sure, one night, due to some unforeseen circumstances, I had to sleep in my car.  It's funny how before the situation arises you really don't think about it.  The park closes at midnight and the cops kick you out, sleeping in a Walmart parking lot isn't that appealing, and sleeping on the side of the road is just not an option.  So what does a homeless, but car rich person do? 

            First, I go to Eat n Park for some cheap food, coffee, and a restroom break.  After getting that out of the way, you find an apartment complex, grab your emergency blanket and pillow, and climb in the back seat of the car, covering yourself so the car itself looks empty to the casual observer.  Don't laugh, this is a true story. 

            When you wake up, a little stiff, it is time to get ready for work.  Now you can head into the park.  I would suggest finding a shelter off the beaten path.  I have two that I have used.  These are great places to put on my work clothes, brush my teeth and wash my hair.  What? I hear you say.  Yes, I have done this.  It is important to carry at least two gallons of water with you to take care of hygiene issues.  A towel is also a great thing to have with you, as well.  There is nothing quite like sitting shirtless, hair dripping, on a picnic bench watching deer, squirrels, and nature in general on a crisp September morning.  Of course, the occasional dude walking his dog can make it weird, but such is life.

            After cleaning and dressing, it is time to head back to Eat n Park for a cheap breakfast, coffee and bathroom break.  Now I would never wash my hair, self, brush my teeth or shave in a restroom.  As hard as it is for some of you to believe right now, I do have standards, and a rechargeable razor. 

            In closing folks, there may be times when I am down, but I am not out.  Being homeless once in a while is no big deal, in fact it's a character builder, and proves that I can survive.  Also, I am luckier than others who don't have somewhere to stay 365 days a year.  I look at my circumstances, accept them, and enjoy them for what they are, a chance to live the adventure that is life.  Whatever life throws at you, remember to either duck or catch it, and keep moving forward.  Irritate the people that want to see you fail by smiling and enjoying the life you are living. 

            Keep calm and carry on!