Stream of Consciousness: Cyber Wife


           I got a good report from the doctor today, cancer free, yippee. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy about it, but it wasn’t the dominate thought in my life. What was really bugging me was an ad for cyber lawyers. I couldn’t believe it; snakes in the cloud. Really, they haven’t fucked enough shit up already?

            I remember a healthier time in America when cigarette companies could advertise on the television, and lawyers couldn’t, what a glorious time. Think about it which has done more damage to this country since the television advertising switch? Tough question. My vote is for the attorneys. Yeah, second hand smoke might affect you, but the lawyers have fucked up this country, now they are coming for the internet?

            Think about it. You buy an android love doll, in time you fall in love with her; you have some good years, but tire of updating her, you decide to hook up with a newer model. Hold on, she gets Lou Javara, cyber attorney, and the next thing you know, you’re in cyber court, handing half of your earnings and property. Let’s face it, she’s never held a job, has no marketable skills, and no formal education. God forbid they develop technology that would allow your cyber babe to produce a cyber baby.

            Can you imagine how fucked you’d be if you reproduced, or worse yet, purchased a cyber kid? Damn, child support, and alimony, until the batteries wear out. Man, you should have gone out and got a real woman, at least she’d die, or perhaps, remarry, ideally die . . .

            Your ex-cyber wife/partner would be used goods. It’s be like some guy buying your old car, but think about what you were putting in her trunk. Ain’t no man wanna go there. Maybe you get lucky, and some dumped cyber dude hooks up with your ex-cyber dudette, adopts the little cyber brat, and live happily ever after, getting you off the hook.

            While in the short term a cyber wife seems like a deal, may I suggest hooking up with one of the Russian or Ukraine lonely women looking for a man on Twitter. Worse case she ends up being 5’5” and 275lbs, at least you can run away from that, and call ICE to have her deported. A cyber woman is forever yours, until death, yours, do you part.