Tunnels and Turns​​


            What is it with turns and tunnels in this town?  Is there some unwritten law that requires a driver to slow down or stop at these confusing sections of the road?  Don’t you hate travelling down the road when some yo-yo puts on his blinker then stops to make the turn?  Is there some fear that your vehicle may knock the world off its axis if you take the turn too fast?  Instead of turn signals maybe we should just put hit me signs on the rear ends of vehicles in the Pittsburgh area.

            I don’t understand why drivers feel the need to slow down when entering the tunnels.  Are they opening and closing like a hazard at a mini-golf course?  There is a need to judge entry into the tunnel so your car isn’t crushed?  Maybe there is an invisible windmill spinning in front of the tunnels that only Pittsburgh drivers can see.  I don’t get it. I have yet to hear of the tunnels being closed due to a windmill blocking traffic.  However there have been numerous accidents caused by people on LSD trips slowing for windmills and getting rear ended.  People Don Quixote does not live in the Pittsburgh area.

            Another thing that boggles my mind is the invisible stop signs in the mall parking lots.  Take Century III Mall for example; there are several “T” intersections, with a two-way stop.  For some unknown reason the traffic that doesn’t need to stop, stops.  Why? How the hell should I know? The mall has been there over thirty years and the traffic patterns haven’t changed.  I often wonder how people pass their driving tests.  Look my friend, you don’t have a stop sign, do not stop, go, and as your making a turn chances are you’re only driving 5 mph anyways.

            Thank God the majority of bridges in and out of the city have stop lights.  Could you imagine the panic and traffic problems if there were no traffic control devices?  Holy crap if a tunnel brings mini-golf nightmares to drivers, what fears could suspension bridges bring to the driving public.  There would be so many rear end collisions the city would have to change its name to Pegasus, not that there is anything wrong with that . . .

            Look, quite simply; if you are turning, entering a tunnel or going to the mall, don’t slow down or stop. Just keep driving.